I have mentioned in previous “Comments” how Heejin let her daughter pursue her interests (music), instead of pushing her to pursue her extraordinary talents (athletics). Heejin didn’t push her at all in fact and it worked out beautifully, as her daughter is now thriving as a freshman at NYU.
While Heejin didn’t push, she did step in frequently and remind her daughter to “never let the lobsters pull her down.” Her daughter had a lot of freedom and would sometimes align herself with people with potential “lobster effects,” and Heejin stepped in.
When a bunch of lobsters are put in a large pot, the lobster on top could easily escape but for the other lobsters grabbing on to it and pulling it back in.
People can act just like lobsters not just by being bad influences, but by actually denigrating your choices, goals, ambitions, ideas, discipline, etc. They hold you back b/c they don’t want you leaving their world.
I saw this often in the small Midwest town where I grew up. You also see it in small organizations and offices, and kids face this often while growing up. You don’t see this in healthy organizations among well-adjusted people.
Beware of the lobster effect.
Jay Voorhees
Founder/Broker | JVM Lending
(925) 855-4491 | DRE# 01524255, NMLS# 335646
