How Will The Discovery Of Space Aliens Impact Interest Rates?

There was congressional testimony yesterday about the presence of space aliens, but I remain very suspicious. Why do aliens only crash in the middle of America in front of people who have no cameras?

Farmer in Kansas:  “Put away the cameras, Maude, some of those darned space aliens crashed again!”  Everything else on the planet gets photographed over and over and over, no matter how obscure, so until I see some clear photos of aliens, I will remain suspicious.

But note:  If aliens ever do invade, rest assured that interest rates will plummet, as investors will move money from stocks to the safety of bonds en masse!  Hence, an alien invasion is something most of us in the mortgage industry are obviously hoping for. 

Note #2: If you drop a Tic Tac from an airplane, it will look like a spaceship, seem to defy physics, and do things no aircraft can do! 😊

I Was Wrong – The Fed Did Hike Rates Again (And I Blame Women!)

In June I said that the Fed would not hike rates again because the Fed “paused” its rate hikes, and 90% of the time when the Fed “pauses,” they never hike again.   Apparently, this is the 10% when they do hike again, so I was wrong – and I blame women entirely, and I will explain why below.

In any case, when the Fed hiked the Fed Funds Rate by 0.25% yesterday, putting the Fed Funds rate at a 22-year high, long-term rates did not budge for the usual reasons: (1) the market had priced in the expected hike already; and (2) short-term rates like the Fed Funds Rate don’t always move in lockstep with long-term rates.

Fed Chair Powell also stated that they think they can avoid a recession.  So, I guess they think the inverted yield curves are wrong for the first time… ever.

Taylor Swift, Beyoncé, And Barbie!

Credit to The National Real Estate Post (The Fed Vs. Taylor Swift) – for this interesting and humorous take: “We have an epidemic of women spiking inflation and ruining our economy.”  😊 

It turns out that Taylor Swift is singlehandedly driving inflation higher, as she is spurring spending like no other phenomenon in America!  And that spending of course is almost entirely by women.

Everywhere Ms. Swift tours (Philly, Chicago, Minneapolis, and Cincinnati), hotel rooms sell out, and prices spike massively.  In Cincinnati alone, she sparked over $48 million of spending!

The same thing happened in Sweden, where Beyoncé had a series of concerts that brought in fans from all over the world – and it truly altered the inflation landscape.    And OK… I sort of like Beyoncé too (but would never admit it publicly), so men may have contributed a bit here…

BUT – here’s the real kicker: Barbie!  The Barbie movie crushed expectations with a $155 million opening weekend!  The NREP insists that this is all part of a plot by women to take over the world, and I think they’re right.

In all seriousness though, the Fed does notice these spending sprees and the Philly Fed actually referenced Taylor Swift’s tour and its effect on local economies. 

SO… if any men want to see lower interest rates, they might explain to their wives or daughters that Taylor Swift is not all that great and that they should stop buying her music or going to her concerts (let me know how that goes).

Jay Voorhees
Founder | JVM Lending
(855) 855-4491 | DRE# 1197176, NMLS# 310167

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