When she was finally in contract, we were forced to offer her an excessively low rate (for which we made no money) because her debt ratios were so tight.
Despite the low rate and everything we did for the young woman, her dad was furious with us for “taking advantage of her” when he found out about her rate.
Her dad unfortunately did not understand anything about mortgage banking and why her rate was higher than advertised rates.
Her rate was higher because she was putting 5% down on a condo and her credit score was under 700, but her angry dad refused to let any of us explain this (this was before Fannie waived all of the rate increases for First-Time Homebuyers).
He even angrily lectured us on ethical practices, how to run a business, and mortgage banking (because he was in commercial banking in the 1990s).
He then forced his daughter to use another lender – where I am certain she ended up with a higher rate.
The above scenario is not unique, as we have experienced similar situations dozens of times over the last fifteen years – with boomer dads “advising” their kids.
They often mean well, but with their zeal to “help” or “protect” their kids, they often don’t help at all and just end up insulting us and screwing things up (simply due to a lack of knowledge).
This is why I was amused to see this headline pop up in my feed last week: Boomer Dads Are Driving Real Estate Agents Nuts!
I was also very relieved to know that those of us in the mortgage world are not alone.
The short article is well worth reading, as it sets out several examples of boomer dads advising their kids poorly.
One dad insisted that his kid bid $50,000 under asking because the townhouse was too narrow, right before the property actually sold for $150,000 OVER asking.
Another dad fancied himself as a wannabe contractor and talked his kids into canceling a contract because of the home’s condition – even though the inspections were clean.
Another dad was a market expert in a particular area because he had bought a property there 15 years earlier…when prices were a bit lower. 😊
And, one other dad insisted on comparing NYC prices to Cleveland, Ohio prices – implying that his kid was overpaying.
Long story short: boomer dads often create a lot more work for agents or kill deals altogether.
Solutions
One agent recommends asking clients early on if anyone else will be helping with decisions. And then involving the boomer dads from the start – making sure they feel heard and like they have power in the relationship. The agent even recommends saying the wrong things intentionally on occasion – to give boomer dads a chance to correct things.
This is all good advice that we will probably add to our training. I was also going to suggest that lenders support agents when the boomer dad issue surfaces and that agents similarly support lenders. The agent who represented the buyer I discussed at the top of the blog didn’t “want to get involved” – which likely hurt her client more than us.
